We all know that moment. You hand back a quiz and a student says, “I failed. I’m going to fail the whole grade.” Or a classmate says something slightly off and another student cries, “Everyone hates me.” Or a broken pencil = a full-blown meltdown.
Sound familiar?
Welcome to the world of catastrophizing—when a student takes a small stressor and spins it into a disaster movie… in real time.
First things first: What is catastrophizing?
Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion, a way of thinking that exaggerates the likelihood or severity of a negative outcome. In kids, it often sounds like:
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“This is the worst day of my life.”
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“If I don’t get this right, I’ll get in trouble forever.”
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“No one likes me. Everyone is mad at me.”
Research tells us that catastrophizing is closely tied to anxiety and negative self-talk, especially in kids with ADHD, autism, or trauma histories (Kendall & Treadwell, 2007).
So no—it’s not just drama or overreaction. It’s a signal.
Why do some kids use catastrophizing more than others?
It’s often a combo of many things, like neurodivergence (Kids with executive functioning challenges can struggle to regulate emotional responses or “zoom out” to get perspective), anxiety (a nervous brain is hardwired to overestimate danger and underestimate coping skills), past experiences (kids who’ve been through tough stuff may see the worst coming… because they’ve lived through it), and low tolerance for uncertainty/failure. A 2021 study found that kids who catastrophize often have difficulty managing the unknown, and use “worst-case scenario” thinking as a (flawed) coping strategy (Bos et al., 2021).
So what should you do in the classroom?
Glad you asked. You don’t need to be a therapist to support students through catastrophizing episodes. Here’s how:
1. Validate the feeling—don’t feed the fear.
Try:
💬 “It feels like a really big deal right now.”
💬 “I can tell this is heavy for you.”
Avoid:
🚫 “It’s not a big deal.”
🚫 “Stop overreacting.”
Validation helps calm the nervous system. Dismissal ramps it up.
2. Help them name what’s real.
Use what I call the Fact Check + Support script:
💬 “What’s the actual problem right now?”
💬 “Let’s look at what we know vs. what we’re worried might happen.”
This taps into the prefrontal cortex (the rational part of the brain) and gently pulls them out of panic mode. This approach also aligns with research backed strategies shown to reduce catastrophizing in youth (Seligman et al., 2009).
3. Teach coping strategies BEFORE the storm hits.
In the middle of a meltdown, it’s too late to introduce deep breathing or calming tools. But if you build these into your classroom routine? Kids start to access them before they spiral.
Try:
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Grounding strategies (“Name 5 things you see…”)
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Positive self-talk (“I can handle hard things.”)
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Visuals and tools from my Calm Corner Kit or Visual Choice Boards
Many related resources are included in The Behavior Supports Library, by the way—if you want to set this up without starting from scratch.
4. Model realistic thinking—out loud.
Let them hear how you deal with setbacks:
💬 “I’m frustrated this didn’t go as planned, but I know I can try a new approach.”
💬 “This is hard, but it’s not forever.”
Kids pick up on how we talk to ourselves. Show them that thoughts don’t always equal facts.
5. Use visuals to externalize the spiral.
When a student can see their thought spiral, it feels less overwhelming.
Try mapping it out with them:
“You thought you were going to fail → so you felt panicked → so you crumpled your paper → and now you’re in a conflict with me. Let’s backtrack.”
Shameless plug alert – In my upcoming book, Their Best Behavior (out June 11!), I walk through these types of real-life scenarios with a variety of realistic classroom examples.
Final Thoughts
When a student is catastrophizing, their nervous system is in overdrive. Your calm, curious, and compassionate response can make all the difference.
Instead of “Why are you freaking out over this?” Try: “This feels like a big deal right now. Let’s figure it out together.” Because beneath the exaggeration is a child looking for safety, connection, and reassurance that things will be okay. And guess what? You’re already the right person for that job.
Looking for more support?
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✨ Join the Behavior Supports Library for printables & monthly support
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✨ Preorder Their Best Behavior – practical strategies for handling emotional outbursts, behavior challenges, and everything in between.
