You’ve been there. A student refuses to start an assignment. They shut down during a group project. They avoid tasks, stare into space, or suddenly need to sharpen their pencil five times in a row. The question pops into your head: “Can’t do or won’t do?”
This tiny question carries a lot of weight. And how you answer it can completely shift the way you respond to student behavior.
Why We Ask, “Can’t Do or Won’t Do?” in the First Place
At its core, “can’t do or won’t do” is about trying to figure out what’s underneath a behavior. Are we seeing a skill deficit (they can’t) or a performance/motivation issue (they won’t)? It’s easy to assume it’s defiance or laziness, but often, there’s more to it.
In fact, research tells us that many behaviors we label as “won’t” are really “can’t” in disguise. According to Dr. Russell Skiba, students who exhibit challenging behaviors are often lacking the skills to regulate emotions, problem-solve, or engage socially—not just refusing out of spite (Skiba, 2014).
Let’s Break It Down: What Could “Can’t Do” Look Like?
Students who “can’t” do something might:
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Lack the academic skills for the task (decoding, writing, or computation).
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Struggle with executive functioning (planning, organizing, remembering steps).
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Have emotional or sensory barriers (like anxiety, trauma responses, or overstimulation).
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Miss prior knowledge due to absences, learning differences, or gaps in instruction.
These kids might avoid, act silly, or even lash out—not because they won’t try, but because they feel overwhelmed or unsafe trying.
And here’s the kicker: when we treat a “can’t” like a “won’t,” we risk piling more shame onto an already struggling student.
What About “Won’t Do”?
This one’s trickier. A “won’t do” behavior might look like defiance, refusal, or tuning out. But research into student motivation—especially Ryan & Deci’s Self-Determination Theory (2000)—suggests that what we interpret as refusal is often rooted in unmet needs: autonomy, competence, and connection.
In other words, if a student doesn’t feel like the task matters to them, or they don’t feel capable of succeeding, their “no thanks” might be more about self-protection than rebellion.
And that’s not just theory. A 2023 meta-analysis on student motivation found that even small increases in perceived relevance and choice can significantly increase task engagement (Lee & Reeve, 2023).
What Should Teachers Actually Do With This Info?
It’s not about labeling kids—it’s about using this question to pause and investigate before we respond.
Try this:
1. Get curious, not furious.
Ask yourself: What might be getting in this student’s way right now? This is the first step in trauma-informed teaching and restorative practices—something I dig into more in my course, “Beyond Clip Charts,” if you want practical tools for digging deeper.
2. Use behavior as data.
Behavior is communication. If a student avoids reading aloud every time, that’s data. If they opt out during writing time, that’s data. Use it to guide supports.
Data doesn’t always equal making furious tallies and writing novels detailing behaviors. If you see something, note it, and move on knowing that you’ve captured that information and it’s helping paint a picture of what’s really going on.
3. Respond with skill-building OR motivation—depending on the root.
If it’s a skill gap, offer scaffolds. Model. Partner students. Use visuals or chunked directions.
If it’s a motivation issue, focus on connection, voice and choice, or real-life relevance.
I’ve got printable strategy sheets for both scenarios in my Teachers Pay Teachers store, and you’ll find more in my upcoming book, “Their Best Behavior” (coming June 11!).
Real Talk: Why This Mindset Shift Matters
When we slow down and ask, “Can’t do or won’t do?” we’re giving kids the benefit of the doubt. We’re choosing empathy over assumption. We’re choosing curiosity over control.
And no, it doesn’t mean we let everything slide. It means we address what’s underneath the behavior instead of just reacting to the surface-level stuff.
That’s what effective behavior support looks like, and where real behavior change happens. Gone are the days of quick fix bandaids, let’s really get to the core.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonates with you, here are a few ways to dig in:
✅ Preorder “Their Best Behavior” – My upcoming book includes full chapters on skill vs. performance issues, case studies, and practical tools for classroom behavior challenges.
✅ Join the Behavior Supports Library – Get monthly downloads, printables, behavior guides, and exclusive trainings to support you all year long.
✅ Explore My Mini-Course – Learn how to replace clip charts, rethink consequences, and build behavior plans that actually work.
✅ Grab Printable Behavior Tools – My Behavior Reflection Think Sheets, Calm Corner Kits, and SEL Check-Ins are teacher favorites for a reason.
You don’t have to be an expert in behavior to respond like one.
Just start with this question:
“Can’t do or won’t do?”
And go from there.
