If you’ve ever whispered to yourself “You got this” before doing something hard, congrats—you’ve used self talk. And it turns out, that little voice in our head? It’s a powerful SEL skill. Did you know that there is actual research behind this type of self motivation that proves its effectiveness?
For students, especially those prone to test anxiety or self-doubt, positive self talk can be a game-changer. It supports self-awareness and self-management by helping them name what they feel and redirect their response in real time.
The Science of Self Talk
According to research published in the journal Child Development, children as young as five can benefit from self talk. When taught to use encouraging phrases during difficult tasks, students show improved focus and persistence (Winsler et al., 2009). This is just one example of the mountains of meaningful research we have on the topic.
In essence, self-talk helps students become their own internal coach. The problem is that this internal coach also has the ability to be negative and judgmental, which can have an equally powerful effect. Children start developing self-talk early, and repeated negative messages (especially from adults or peers) can become internalized. Vygotsky’s theory highlights how external speech becomes inner speech—meaning negative talk from adults can become a child’s internal monologue. Studies also show that people who engage in frequent negative self talk experience higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and greater activation of the amygdala (the brain’s fear center). YIKES.
When that voice is supportive instead of critical, we are more likely to stay regulated and confident. Positive self talk supports executive functioning skills like impulse control and attention. Kids are better able to calm themselves, stay on task, and manage frustration. The earliest study on this, Meichenbaum’s Self-Instructional Training (1977), used positive self statements to help children with impulsivity and ADHD increase self-control and reduce disruptive behaviors.
How to Teach It
Teaching positive self talk really does need to be explicit. There are countless books on positive affirmations, and so many examples we can use to illustrate to kids what this can look like and its power. Self talk matters! Don’t underestimate the use of these read alouds and routines in class.
1. Model it aloud. Let students hear your internal dialogue:
“Okay, this is tricky, but I’m going to try my best. I can ask for help if I need it.”
2. Create a class list of go-to phrases.
- “I can try again.”
- “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
- “I’m doing my best.”
- “I don’t know it yet—but I’m learning.”
3. Use visuals and sentence stems. Have posters or desk cards with phrases like: When I feel frustrated, I can say…
4. Practice it in the moment. Before a test, lead a short call-and-response:
Teacher: “If I feel stuck, I’ll say…” Students: “I can try a different way!”
5. Use structured resources. Having a positive affirmations journal, affirmation cards, and intentionally chosen read alouds can offer the explicit instruction students need.
SEL in Action
By giving students tools to talk themselves through stress, we reinforce their:
- Self-awareness: Recognizing when stress or doubt shows up
- Self-management: Responding to tough moments with regulation and resilience
The goal isn’t perfect positivity—that’s not even possible The goal is real, encouraging, and affirming messages that help students stay in the game when things get hard. Teaching resilience is a long game, and not something you may see the fruits of overnight. Keep at this type of instruction! The seeds being planted can truly shape the mindset of the children in your classroom. It’s worth it!
